


Gumusservi

by RikkaTsukiakari



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: AU, Fluffy, Gen, It may say SEBACIEL but I meant Our!Ciel and Sebby okay, M/M, Non-Massacre AU, OOC im sorry, Sebby is not a demon unfortunately(?), Sebby x Astre, but no tragedy!, but still a butler...in training, how tf do i tag sebby x our!ciel???, no fire involved, tiny bit of darkness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RikkaTsukiakari/pseuds/RikkaTsukiakari
Summary: AU in which our favorite butler, Sebastian Michaelis, grows up with the twins through the years.And finds himself dealing with feelings unbecoming of a butler towards the Phantomhive "spare".
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> So where did this idea come from?
> 
> WELL, I've thought of this idea as I read through BB's manga. 
> 
> I read BB back when I was in HS, has been obsessed with it for roughly 2 years before I found myself going on a hiatus with the fandom because I can't take the wait and had to occupy myself with other things. Back then, I remember my last arc being the Green Witch Arc and the 2CT just starting to surface in the fandom. 
> 
> AND FINALLY, AFTER SO MANY YEARS I HAVE CAUGHT UP WITH THE MANGA. GOODNESS WHAT A CLUSTERFUCK OUR FANDOM HAS BECOME(both positive and negative). Yana turned the fandom into flames lmao. BUT that doesn't mean I hate it, in fact, I've come to love her writing even better. The dedication and how she was able to weave in 2CT FROM THE FIRST ARCS was absolutely mindblowing. That patience and storytelling is so fucking overwhelming, the writer in me who stayed dormant straight up jumped for joy and started pumping creative juices. 
> 
> And so here we are, folks.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

G u m u s s e r v i  
(n.) the light of the moon as it shines upon the water

* * *

Sebastian was 15 years old when he was finally taken in by Mr. Tanaka, butler of the famed Phantomhive family, as an apprentice. 

He could only look at the massive manor in quiet awe as his breath leaves his mouth in white puffs from the cold. He holds his coat a little tighter to keep his teeth from chattering too much in the unforgiving winter air of December, his meager luggage resting by his feet as the carriage he rode on his journey towards this imposing place gallops away, disappearing into the fog. He contemplates climbing up the imposing stairs to the front door just so he could finally be sheltered from the cold.

_'But that would be impolite and unbefitting of a commoner like me,'_ he thinks sullenly as he sighs, _'The letter did not give me further instructions except for having the carriage enter through the gates and let me off in front of the manor. Any further would most likely cause me a scolding and a possibly cancelled apprenticeship.'_

Sebastian was no fool. And he understood just how distinct and aloft his employer is in the echelon of society.

Everyone knows of who the Phantomhives are and how much power and prestige they possess based from the numerous philanthropic achievements and charity programs they have done for the betterment of the country for generations. It was the reason why Sebastian was given a chance for this apprenticeship, after all. He was orphaned since birth and had a chance to actually catch the eye of the Earl's Butler for reasons even he did not know during one charity event. But one day, a letter has arrived of how the gracious Earl of Phantomhive would like to have the young boy in their household as a pageboy and an apprentice to the butler. Everyone was baffled at the news, Sebastian included. He did not know how to respond to such out-of-the-blue invitation and did not want to accept the suspicious offer at first.

But more than that...

"The Queen's Watchdog," he mutters silently, as if the words were a dark curse. Sebastian has tried his hardest to research about the family who will take him in, in the measly library of the old, dilapidated orphanage he was in. He scoured journals and old newspapers and listened by word of mouth on the streets on what kind of people the Phantomhives are when he was sent on errands by the caretakers. Least to say, he learned that his Master, Vincent Phantomhive, may have been a philanthropist but not an ordinary noble—he was known to control the 'Underworld' of Great Britain, ' _cleaning_ ' any rubbish that may hinder the Royal Highness. Sebastian has heard of them before, "Aristocrats of Evil" as they say, and had never once imagined he would be working in a household of one. All the more reason why he even considered running away if the situation calls for it back when 'the administrators of the orphanage were still coming to a decision’. Of course, it was a ruse and Sebastian knows it. There was no way the orphanage would reject such offer. He was one less mouth to feed and worry about.

The heavy oak door opens and an old-man, dressed in a black suit with pin-stripped pants steps unto the porch and goes down to greet him, a monocle rests upon his one eye. His bearings and posture speaks volumes of dignity and wisdom. "Do come in before you catch a cold in this weather," he ushers the boy upstairs and into the manor kindly, "I believe you are Sebastian, young man?"

The raven haired boy nods in affirmation as he takes in the grandiose of the mansion he has entered, taking off his hat and his coat before he looks at his superior whom he assumes is the butler, "Yes. My name is Sebastian Michaelis, sir."

"I am Tanaka, the butler of this manor and would be supervising your apprenticeship during you stay," the old man introduces amiably with a polite but warm smile, "Welcome to the Phantomhive mansion. Come, I will show the way to your sleeping quarters so you can put your belongings down and settle." 

The 15 year old nods as he follows Tanaka into the hallway, passing by the busy kitchen and a couple of servants greeting the butler on the way to his room. The ambiance and interactions between employees do not seem as suffocating as he initially thought from a house of an 'evil aristocrat'. He expected rigidity and professional indifference from the staff but he was greeted with friendliness and warmth. It did not take long before they arrived at his room, a humble small space with the bare minimum: a bed large enough for a teenage boy like him in the middle, a small nightstand by its side while a writing desk situates itself on the corner of the room. At the other side is a large wooden closet which turned out to be a waste of space for someone like Sebastian whose scarce belongings can only fit in one measly bag. The small fireplace on another corner of the room already burning with a few wood, making the room cozier despite its simplicity. It was miles better than Sebastian's old smelly room back in the orphanage he shares with six rambunctious boys, who have no regard for sanitation and personal space. 

Before he could think better of it, a breath of relief escapes Sebastian which did not fail to make his superior chuckle,"This will be your room for now. Servants usually share quarters each other. However, with you being hired just recently and all rooms fully occupied, I have decided to place you alone in this room temporarily. " 

Sebastian bows at the old man, "No, this more than what I had hoped for. I am truly grateful for your consideration, Mr. Tanaka, and the generosity of the Earl of Phantomhive. I will be in your care."

Tanaka accepts the sincerity of Sebastian's words and proceeds to let him unpack and settle down in his new room alone. It was after dinner that same day when Tanaka has finally introduced him to the other servants of the Phantomhive, have given him his uniform and has lectured him on his training and duties to the household. His introduction to the Phantomhive family shall only be done after he has fully adjusted in his new life and learned the etiquette befitting of a Phantomhive servant. The arrangement has implied of Sebastian's lacking upbringing but he does not mind, in the least, as he sleeps peacefully on the softest bed he has ever lain on that night. 

* * *

It did not take him long before he adjusted to his new lifestyle in the Phantomhive estate. He had the innate talent and natural grace for the job that it was evident to all the servants as to why he was chosen as an apprentice by the butler himself and had caught the Earl’s attention. Sebastian, despite his young age, is exceedingly sufficient in accomplishing his tasks and learning. He absorbs new information like a sponge and is even starting to inherit Tanaka’s meticulousness when it comes to doing his duties.

He had always loved studying, after all. It was what had made him so different from his peers back at the orphanage. He was a quiet child and had been more interested at the scant amount of books he found in the library back at his old home rather than playing with other children his age. His thirst for knowledge later on translated into exploration of the world and society. He volunteered on doing errands than playing. Just so he could have glimpse of the outside world—the streets, the back alleys, the market and the people.

And he saw it.

Both the bad and the good, the beauty and the ugly, the rich plump nobles strutting around with their silken gowns and ties at the busy square and the starving bone and skin beggars on the back alley slums.

And it took 8 year-old Sebastian a beating on the street after he’s been mugged and accused by a noble to understand that the world was unfair for everyone.

Later that night as he returns home bloodied and scarred, he finds his beddings ripped, his pillow soaked in unidentifiable fluid and his favourite worn-out book which he kept closed to his bed on nights he cannot sleep torn to pieces. His poorly bandaged hands clenched as his roommates snicker in mockery. He wants to scream, pick a fight. But instead he gets out from the room and lets his feet drag him to the library. 

_‘No, it wasn’t that the world was unfair for everyone,’_ he thought, wine coloured eyes staring at the decrepit library ceiling as he laid on his back, surrounded by dusty old books, ‘ _It’s just that…_ ’

_“_ Humans… ** _are cruel and malicious._** _”_

He grips the mutilated blanket he gathered before he left the room, pulling it closer to his body. He sleeps fitfully that night, ignoring the ache of his body as it rests on the cold hard wood floor, ignores the faint tear tracks he sees the next day on the mirror before he washes his face on the grimy bathroom sink.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> Why are the chapters too short?  
> Initially, I wanted this to be a one-shot thing but well...so many ideas popped in and it got too long so I have decided to make it into chapters/ snippets. I'm already on what I'd like to think as Chapter 4 but revisions are still on the way so.  
> Advance apologies for the:  
> -sloppy writing  
> -awkward dialogue  
> -OOC-ness oomph  
> \- grammatical errors
> 
> _*does a sliding dogeza*_
> 
> ENJOY!

* * *

There had been a few hiccups at the start of his training but he ultimately caught up faster than normal for a boy his age. Some older servants who had been working on the manor longer expressed both admiration and envy at his progress. It took almost a month before he was formally introduced to the masters of the house. Sebastian has already seen them in passing, on the photographs and on the brief glances he gets while doing his duties around the manor.

They were beautiful people.

Earl Vincent Phantomhive was an attractive, charismatic gentleman that exudes both dignity and mystery. He was different from the nobles Sebastian has ever met or encountered. He was startlingly easy-going compared to the raven-haired’s initial expectations. Sebastian knows, however, that the Master was more cunning than he looks when he offhandedly observed the Earl from afar interacting with his ‘friends’. Furthermore, the whole estate would not have thrived as prosperous as it is if the Master was just a forbearing fool. His young wife, Countess Rachel Phantomhive, was the epitome of a gracious and kind noble lady. She was not just a stunning lady; she was elegant and cheerful despite her weak constitution, a capable madam of the house who is compassionate to the servants that it was no wonder that she was well-loved and respected among the employees of the household. 

And, of course, how could he forget the adored 5-year-old twins of the Phantomhive.

(Sebastian now understands as to why the servants kept gushing about them for _ages_ )

They were the embodiment of childish innocence and are literal cherubs with their chubby cheeks and matching attires. Even Sebastian, who has been surrounded by brats since he started to walk, was enamoured for a moment when the twins’ large, cerulean eyes lighted up and twin gasps leaving their lips in excitement upon learning his name.

“You have the same name as our dog!” One of the twins squealed, ambled towards Sebastian and tugged at his trousers, “You have to see him! He’s a black dog _thiiis_ big,” the blue-haired child animatedly babbles, his arms gesturing just how big his pet is, “And he has the same black hair like you!” 

“Ciel!” Lady Rachel, flustered by her child’s overenthusiasm, admonished before she takes her child away and nods apologetically to the bewildered pageboy, “Don’t be rude to Sebastian!”

“I don’t think he appreciates being compared to a dog, Ciel,” his father laughs light-heartedly while his hand strokes the grey-blue hair of his other son who’s hiding behind his leg, “Isn’t that right, my boy?”

The other twin peeked shyly from where he stood, smiling up on his father and leaning on his father’s touch as he nods. It was adorable, Sebastian absentmindedly thinks, how the child almost nods half of his body with the action.

It was then that Sebastian realized that the twins may have been a mirror image of each other, with the same coloring as their father and their mother’s soft-features and eyes, but they were far more different from what meets the eye.

Ciel, looks at him, crestfallen that he may have offended Sebastian and he bows his head in contrition, “I…I’m sorry.”

The other twin rushes to his brother and holds his sad brother’s small hands in comfort, glancing alternately between Sebastian and his brother worriedly.

Awkwardly, the raven-haired young man clears his throat and tries to plaster on a polite reassuring smile he’s been practicing. It was one of the first lessons hammered by Tanaka on his head and it still felt alien on his lips up ‘til now, “It is alright, Master Ciel,” he placates. He must not make his master upset as it goes against the very code of conduct for any servant.

“I…find it interesting to be sharing the same name with your dog.”

“…Really?”

It was a lie but a nod is what he gives and the child finally lights up back to his earlier spirited demeanour.

Sebastian finds himself invited by the twins into their playroom to play that day (mostly Ciel but his brother’s eager eyes were expressive enough at the prospect too) and meet his apparently twin-named hound. However, the butler-in-training had politely declined due to his full-schedule of chores and training for the day. Apprehension suddenly filled Sebastian when he saw the twins’ lips wobble by his declination and he fears he might actually get fired for making them distressed.

Fortunately for him, Tanaka helps with an offer of sweets as distraction and, like a charm, the children rejoiced and promptly forgot the rejection in favour of satisfying their sweet tooth.

The 15-year-old sighs in relief at being saved from the munchkin-sized tempters and fixed his uniform as he proceeds to his usual routine, not thinking much from the lively introduction to the Earl’s family. He was still a page boy and ultimately will not be interacting much with them most of the time so he dismisses the attention he garnered as a momentary curiosity from the bluenette twins. 

****

* * *

Contrary to what he thought, his interactions with the Phantomhive brothers did not come to a stalemate and ended during his formal introduction. In fact, it seems he was deemed as the favourite ‘playmate’—or perhaps _babysitter_ was more appropriate—of the blue-eyed cheeky imps.

At first, Tanaka had helped him divert the twins’ attention whenever they would, for some reason; ask for him to play with them. But despite the distraction, they were smart enough to figure out the ruse and later on became more persistent. It got to the point where both of them were ready to throw a tantrum just so the raven-haired teen would play with them. Even Vincent and Rachel’s appeasement did not quell the sulking and whining.

And so with a sigh of resignation, Sebastian was offered upon the twins as a sacrifice and the brothers finally were able to claim Sebastian as a playmate.

Sebastian sometimes wonders if this is actually the reason why he was taken in as an apprentice in the first place, ‘Maybe Tanaka was getting too old to be entertaining two 5-year-olds?’ 

Ciel makes humming noise from across him, staring holes on the chessboard as if it had personally offended him and scrunching his eyebrows and nose in concentration, his pursed lips expressing his displeasure. The younger brother, on the other hand, is happily sitting on his lap, swaying his legs while eagerly waiting for his twin. Since Sebastian has not yet grasped the rules of chess, they agreed it’s better if he teams up with one of them so he learns how to play. A game of cribbage later and Sebastian ended up with the younger child.

The young child who’s now leaning back on his chest while a half-eaten biscuit is gripped between his chubby fingers. He smiles at Sebastian in triumph when Ciel pouts in frustration.

Sebastian finds it entertaining, he must admit.

“We make a great team, Young Master,” he praises as he wipes off some of the chocolate from the boy’s lips with a napkin he brought with the twin’s snacks. Skinship was foreign concept for Sebastian initially. But when the twins did not seemed not to mind at all. In fact, Sebastian swears they even go as far as _preening_ from attention whenever he does it. By now, it has become habit for him to clean up after their messes.

And he can’t squash the feeling of finding it endearing how the encouragement only made the boy’s shy grin wider.

_He was becoming absurd, so different from who he was a month ago._

He never really understood as to why the twins were so fixated to him. Perhaps it was because they were the closest in age compared to the other servants in the mansion but, in truth, Sebastian wasn’t exactly...lively nor a good playmate. He was a 15 year old and they were 5 year olds. He does not even like children. He was still a quiet young man who only talked politely on the twins because they are the masters and he, a mere page boy/ apprentice of the household.

Oh but the twins were just, dare he say it, _precious_ sometimes that even Sebastian knows it’s a lost cause to even rationalize why he resignedly obeys their whims.

Aside from their cherub appearance, their mischief stem from their cleverness and intelligence despite only being five year olds. It was what differentiates them from the children Sebastian has dealt with in the orphanage. It’s what had piqued Sebastian when he was starting to become a frequent request to the grey-blue haired boys. And before he knows it, he sometimes find himself amused by their schemes.

The strangest of all is how they treat him like he was someone of the same rank. For Sebastian who’s experienced first-hand the prejudice nobles had with commoners or anyone beneath them, it baffled him how easily the kids from a noble family as distinguished as the Phantomhive warmed up to him in a span of a couple of days.

“Checkmate,” the child on his lap says as he places his knight on the chessboard.

Ciel’s face falls at the word and he harrumphs, already arranging the chessboard, “One more game! This time I want to seat on Sebastian’s lap and I’m teaming up with him!”

The slate haired child on his lap pauses, his legs stop swaying for a moment and looks at the said butler-in-training. Something flashes in his eyes and, for a moment, Sebastian thought that he might protest from Ciel’s demand. But the young child wiggles out of his lap and meekly gives his ‘okay’.

The raven head stands up, still confused from what he witnessed, but nonetheless proceeds to go to Ciel’s side when Tanaka suddenly knocks on the door. The butler informs them that it was time for dinner and they have to give greetings to the guests of the manor for today, the Midfords.

Sebastian has heard of them and has learned of who they are from one of his lessons with Tanaka. The family leading the British Knights and the family to whom Frances Phantomhive was married into, making their children the cousins of the blue-haired twins.

Tanaka takes out his pocket watch, checking the time before promptly briefing Sebastian of his duties for tonight’s dinner preparations. Sebastian nods and excuses himself from the room, walking briskly towards the kitchens and checking the time himself on the wall clock he passes by on the way. It did not take long before he could hear the rattling of the dishes and the chatter from the servants.

“What was that?” He ponders, going to the silverware he was instructed to polish together with another servant, his mind replaying back the moment the younger Phantomhive looked at him in both sadness and resignation unsuitable for someone his age.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY Sebby is finally introduced to the family and had seen a tiiiny bit of Our!Ciel's issues oof 
> 
> Anyway, he seem to have won the twin's attention without even doing anything lmao. I had fun having him trying to be cold and professional towards them but just ends up failing because WHO COULD EVER RESIST THOSE TWO TINY DEVILS AMIRITE?? I JUST WANNA KEEP THEM BOTH IN MY POCKET UGH (altho I have conflicting feelings about R!Ciel but I would like to keep him in my pocket BACK WHEN HE WAS 7 YEARS OLD AND A L I V E ). 
> 
> Btw, I searched if 5 year olds could actually play chess and was amazed to discover pros started as early as 4 YEARS OLD! So I thought it would be appropriate that the twins would know chest already at that age altho they prolly lose easily to Tanaka and Vincent at this age hehe 
> 
> Thank you for reading and stay safe, everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> As usual, I would like to apologize in advance for the:  
> -sloppy writing  
> -awkward dialogue  
> -OOC-ness oomph  
> \- grammatical errors
> 
> _*does a sliding dogeza*_
> 
> And uhm, it's a longer chapter and a lengthy end note but uh please read it if u can
> 
> ENJOY!

* * *

During that day’s dinner, Sebastian finally sees the esteemed Midford family as he stands with the other servants on the dining table, listening attentively at the beck and call of the guests and masters. He also learns of Ciel’s engagement with Elizabeth Midford, the blonde child with two curled pigtails whom Sebastian has served the appetizer soup to, since it was announced throughout the dining room with a cheer of joy and clinking of glasses.

So it didn’t come as a surprise when the Midford child’s visits have become a more frequent occurrence now as days passed by and how loud the manor has become at the presence of three children.

Always adorned in lavish dresses and accessories, the 6 year-old girl was head strong little thing far more energetic and peppy than the twins combined. Her visits has lessened the time the twins spent with him playing by a certain amount, replaced by more rigorous lessons and training from the Phantomhive butler. This has also made the master finally grant him access to the library to enrich his learning by the suggestion of Tanaka. Sebastian was more than grateful when he hears of the news and is ecstatic to finally read books that the Earl’s large library boasted.

He starts devouring knowledge like a man parched of water in the vast dessert, easily finding his own “area” on the farthest part of the library, nestled between two towering bookshelves. The spot was secluded and dark enough that it was obvious no one bothers browsing through that part of the vast library. However a window on the adjacent wall provides scarce but enough light for him to read books without much difficulty. 

And as he rifts through the last pages of _The Butler’s Guide to Running the Home and Other Graces_ , with a loud thud from closing the hardbound book, he finally rises from his sitting position on the carpeted floor. Today was one of his day-offs for the month and he has decided to stay in the library since the twins, as usual, were preoccupied with playing and entertaining Lady Elizabeth. He stretches a bit before returning to the library tables and looking at the wall clock decorating the library.

It was already mid-afternoon when he gazed at the window. It was about this time when he is usually looks for the blue-haired energetic twins and informs them of afternoon tea, he absentmindedly remembers while heading back to the shelf where the book belonged to.

He was almost taken by the desire to check up on them, at least.

The thought makes him restless and he sighs in disbelief on how much he has changed ever since his stay here.

Exiting the library, Sebastian walks through the halls, keenly listening for any sounds that might lead him to the twins. It did not take him long to find them. Right ahead of him, a dreadful coughing fit was racking his young master’s tiny body as he hunches on the floor, Ciel panicking and holding his brother while Elizabeth stands near them, petrified at the sight. 

The sight had the raven head rushing to the twins as fast as he could, “Young Master!”

“Sebastian!” A mixture of relief and anxiety flashes through the cerulean eyes, his hands shaking as he supports his brother. He starts to babble in nervousness, “W-What should we do? H-He suddenly coughed loudly and shouted in pain and—” 

“Master Ciel, Lady Elizabeth, find a servant and ask them for help and look for Mr. Tanaka. Tell them to call the doctor, I’ll take care of the Young Master,” Sebastian orders as he kneels and takes the child from Ciel’s hands, “Quickly!”

Ciel looks torn about leaving his brother in such frightening state but Sebastian’s alarmed stare makes him move, “Yes!” He takes the blond girl’s hand and they hurriedly ran away, shouting for help.

The butler-in training calls on the wheezing child’s name but the only response he gets was another fitful of coughs and tears running down from scrunched eyes. He scans his young master’s blouse, anything that might be constricting his breathing. With a hasty apology, he loosens the blue tie on his neck and almost rips the buttons on the child’s collar. He suddenly pulls the child to his chest, resting the chin on his shoulder and trying his damnest to not waver despite the unease in his own chest, “Young Master, listen to me,” he murmurs, “Listen to me. Breathe with me, _breathe in,_ ” he says, exaggeratedly inhaling so the little boy could feel it and hopefully follow him. He holds the frail body to closer as his hand rubs on the child’s back, trying to soothe and instruct the panting child on his chest, “ _Breathe out._ Shhh, you will be alright.”

He feels a nod on his neck despite the wheezing as the trembling body tries to match his breathing, tiny hands find purchase at the front of Sebastian’s uniform, and clutching it like a lifeline,“S-Se..S-Seb..”

“Shhh, don’t talk, Young Master. I am here. Just keep breathing with me now,” he whispers, still holding him while his Young Master pants for breath.

When he feels the tiny body breathe a little more regularly than before, he finally tries to release the child on his arms to check on him, only to find out that the young Phantomhive had fainted on his shoulder. He adjusts his hold and waits until help comes in the form of rushing children and Tanaka, asking him what had happened.

* * *

Doctor Angelina Dalles, or _Aunt Anne_ as affectionately called by the twins, is a striking individual. Her fiery crimson hair and fiery red eyes were a sharp contrast from Rachel’s delicate strawberry blond locks and gentle blue eyes. They were the complete opposite of each other with only cheerfulness as perhaps their common ground.

“After a couple days of bed rest, he should be fine, as long as he takes the medicine and doesn’t do anything rigorous,” his aunt says while still examining her sick nephew before looking at Ciel, “That means no rough play like running around or jumping with your brother, alright?”

The child’s immediate nod made her sigh. Her red manicured hand started stroking the soft blue-hair of her bedridden nephew, whose breathing has finally gotten back to normal, “You must always watch out, okay? Goodness, you’re starting to look more like your mom whenever she is sick.”

After the youngest Phantomhive’s collapse, the red-haired doctor tells them of his asthma and his most likely weak constitution, similar to that of Rachel’s. The whole family hangs on her words of what they must do; distress and worry painted on their faces, as she advices them to refrain him from doing any strenuous activity and take his asthma medicine regularly.

“And you,” she calls out to the silent raven-haired teen standing by the door of the room, making every occupant on the room turn in the same direction, “I heard you were the one who has aided him when he had an asthma attack. Good job on helping him breathe and immediately asking for help. Did you perhaps know it was asthma?”

All eyes on him, Sebastian takes a deep breath to distract his mind from the scrutinizing stares, “No, My Lady…However, I have heard of Lady Phantomhive’s sickness from Mr. Tanaka and have done a bit of reading about it to prepare myself in situations when such occurrence were to happen in the future.”

As expected, his answer has garnered a positive response from the family and earns him a heartfelt ‘thank you’ from the Lady of the House. Doctor Angelina was looking at him, impressed, and grins coyly, “Hmm…Not bad for a page boy. And although it’s still too early to say given your age, but I have no doubt you’ll grow up to be quite an attractive man,” she remarks before winking at him playfully, “Why don’t you work for my household when you get older, what do you say? This household already has plenty of servants and a very capable butler to manage this manor. I will double the pay you are given here once I become a Baroness, boy. ”

“Anne!” Rachel admonishes sternly but the light of amusement betrays her tone, “Our page boy is not for sale. How could you possibly bribe him _in front_ of his employer?”

The red-head shrugs unabashedly, “Well, it was worth the try,” earning her chuckles from the room and a courteous smile and slight bow from the raven-haired man.

* * *

After that incident, Angelina also became a frequent visitor of the Phantomhive manor, primarily for the youngest Phantomhive’s check-ups in the following days. And just as her earlier predictions, the child became prone to asthma attacks, fevers and colds. The normally shy child became even more reserved and introverted, now often left to play or read by himself in his shared room with the twin. And despite Ciel’s attempts on always staying by his brother’s side, he often ends up playing with his fiancé and Aunt An for his safety as the fever might have a contagious cause.

Sebastian was sometimes asked to accompany the blue-haired child whenever he finishes his lessons and chores early. But being a page boy and Tanaka’s personally chosen apprentice, he was trained a little more strictly compared to the other servants. This meant him rarely having a free time to attend to the child.

And this prompted their parents to buy more toys for their children to at least keep him entertained.

_‘It was a great effort’_ , the raven head admits as he walks through the halls and heading at the twin’s bedroom, _‘But... toys are not enough to replace the joy of having an actual playmate unfortunately.’_

He remembers the times he would pass by the twin’s rooms while he does his own chores. The sight of his Young Master, quietly reading by the foot of his bed with a cushion, would sometimes sigh in sadness while peals of laughter were heard from the hallway. It reminds Sebastian of his past self.

But unlike his Young Master, Sebastian was used to solitude because he never had anyone in the first place.

“Young Master,” he calls out after knocking on the door and entering inside, twin outfits cradled in his arms, “I am here to assist dressing you up for the day. Mr. Tanaka is currently busy preparing for today’s outing.”

“O-Oh, Sebastian,” the 5 year-old looks up from where he was playing by himself, “Outing?”

“Yes,” Sebastian answers as he gets near, helping the child up and dusting him off, “The master informed us that he will be visiting the one of the farms of the estate for inspection, and wanted to bring the both of you with Lady Rachel.”

Cerulean eyes light up at the news and he lets the 15-year-old undress him eagerly, a smile blooming at his face at the prospect of finally going outside with his family.

But a thought suddenly occurs to him and the young boy looks at Sebastian in worry, “Would it really be alright for me to go? What if I collapse in a fit of coughing again? I...don’t want to make everyone worried again.”

‘ _Goodness, he is too kind for his own good.’_

“Worry not, Young Master, Mr. Tanaka and I will be coming along in this trip as well,” the raven-head reassures, kneeling right in front of his young master and hands deftly buttoning the child’s shirt, “We will be there if anything were to happen to you. Besides, we have been blessed with good weather today and you have not had any attacks in the past days, Young Master.”

The look he gets from the bluenette still holds doubt and Sebastian tries not to sigh from exasperation. After he ties the large bow on the boy’s shirt collar, he takes the small hand unto his own and musters up as much conviction as in his wine-coloured eyes, “Trust me on this, Young Master.”

After a moment, the blue-head nods and his smile returns once again, “Thank you, Seb—”

“Astre! Sebastian!”

The pair stop and simultaneous look at the voice now entering the room and a ball of energy suddenly bounds up to them. Ciel still panting from his run and excitedly taking his twin’s hand, “We’re going out with father and mother today!”

Behind them, a bark resounds in the room and the youngest Phantomhive almost jumps from the sound. An adult black Borzoi enters a minute later inside the room, walking towards the twins.

“Y-yes, uhm…S-Sebastian just told me moments ago,” Astre mumbles while trying to get away from the hound that’s now getting nearer him, “W-wait, Sebastian, stop—”

The dog nips him at the ankle, scaring the young one into hiding behind the 15 year-old page boy, “Stop nipping me!”

“No! Sebastian, stop hurting Astre!” the older twin exclaims sternly.

The exchange was _confusing,_ to say the very least.

“Master Ciel,” the raven-haired calls while his arm shoots out, trying to put distance between the over-enthusiastic dog and Astre, ‘ _What an annoying mutt,_ ’ “I shall assist you in changing your clothes for today’s outing.”

“Where’s gramps?”

“I’m afraid he is busy at the moment for the trip’s preparation,” he answers apologetically, “So I was sent to fulfill the role in his stead.”

Ciel accepts his assistance, clearly too delighted and eager for the trip. Unfortunately, this meant Astre was open for any bullying the Borzoi does as two of his shields were busy. The raven head was able to dress the older boy up without any difficulty and before they knew it, they were already gracing through the hallways, heading towards the mansion’s entrance. With the twins chatting lively while holding each other’s hands, the page boy Sebastian trailed behind them silently while the Borzoi Sebastian walked beside Ciel.

It was almost laughable how a _dog_ almost seemed superior compared to him.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao, the scene with Sebby the hooman and Sebby the dog was fun
> 
> Alsooo Lizzie and Madam Red has finally made their appearance! I know it might've been early for Lizzie and Ciel to have their engagement announced but c'mon! It's Victorian Era and sadly, it's a normal occurrence for noble's children to get engage as early as 5 oof As for Madam Red, she isn't married in this fic yet and there's a reason for that *evil laughter* I miss her a lot. She's such an iconic aunt(who could ever forget her dressing up Ciel as her niece just because she wants lmao jk i know ciel had to because Vicount Druitt was a fucken pedo and targets 'girls' eww he might be hilarious but he's a shady mf) and it's a shame she had to die at like, the start of the series but oh wellll
> 
> This chapter aligns with the manga, if u haven't noticed, and I have sprinkled some original dialogue(?) in.  
> (1)In the Chapter 130 of BB manga, our!Ciel started coughing when he was 5 years old which aligns with their ages in this fic's previous and current chapter.  
> (2) Our!Ciel said it was 'Aunt Anne' who told him he was starting to look like his mother when she's sick so I added that line in :>
> 
> Additional shit I'd like to address:  
> * _"The Butler’s Guide to Running the Home and Other Graces"_ \--is an actual book title. I literally had to search up a butler training related book and just used the first title I saw lmao
> 
> *How Sebastian dealt with Our!Ciel's asthma attack--was clinically both right and wrong, I am so sorry, I just did it for the sake of skinship BUT! HE WAS RIGHT WHEN HE LOOSENED UP ANYTHING THAT MIGHT CONSTRICT THE CHILD'S BREATHING AND INSTRUCTED HIM TO CONTROL HIS BREATHING CALMLY. Furthermore, I'm gonna clarify that he didn't smother Our!Ciel, okay? He rested Our!Ciel's chin on his shoulder which meant the kid had both his NOSE and MOUTH free from any external obstruction, alright? According to my med textbooks, it would've been better if Sebby had sat Our!Ciel up on the floor. The one I used in this chapter was more applicable to a person having a panic attack and having a hard time breathing. THE MORE YOU KNOW, KIDS. GET YOURSELF EDUCATED.
> 
> *Our!Ciel's name: Astre--boi oh boi, I actually contemplated on this one. A LOT. I wanted to make his name unknown throughout the fic but THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME. If there's one con from the plottwist YANA has pulled, IT'S THAT IT'S FUCKING HARD FOR FF WRITERS LIKE ME TO WRITE ABOUT OUR!CIEL WITH JUST THE "YOUNGER BROTHER", "THE CHILD" AND "THE YOUNGER TWIN" BUT IT JUST AGONIZES ME. Yes, it hurts me calling him any of those after I was like in the middle of this chapter bcs it felt like I'm neglecting/rejecting him by not calling him by his name, eventho im the effing author, u know what im sayin?? AND it gets irritating and harder addressing him with these names, it's repetitive and limiting bcs my story relies on WORDS, not on VISUALS like the manga. So i went to tumblr, searched up and read lotsa theories and i have jumped the bandwagon of naming our!ciel as ASTRE because I reaaally liked it and the theories behind it. 
> 
> That's enough for now, folks. Sorry for the long rant/end note. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and Stay safe, everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> It's been a looong time since I last updated but here it is. I've already written this chapter like ages ago but I had this policy that I will only post the chapter if I'm two chapters away from it...unfortunately that won't be the case now bcs I've already started school weeks ago. I was still testing the waters of my current semester and trying to incorporate writing this fic in my schedule. It's all for naught tho as my sched's jam-packed and I can't afford to slack off because I'm a year away from internship and graduating :<
> 
> Nonetheless I will still continue writing this only the updates may take even longer than I originally planned. I'm sorry for that. I hope you'll bear with me on that one. 
> 
> ALSO! Advance apologies for the:  
> -sloppy writing  
> -awkward dialogue  
> -OOC-ness oomph  
> \- grammatical errors
> 
> _*does a sliding dogeza*_
> 
> ENJOY!

* * *

When they arrived at the farm, they were greeted genially by the farmer’s family. Old man Sam was grinning delightedly at the Earl’s family, commenting on how the twins have grown up to be quite charming little gentlemen, just like their father. Sebastian was also introduced to the farmer’s family when Tanaka and Old man Sam had greeted each other.

As the Earl and the farmer exchanged pleasantries and had to proceed with the inspection, the children were given permission to play at the nearby fields near the sheep stables.

“Father, can we feed and visit the sheep nearby too?” asked Ciel with his large imploring eyes, “Please? I want to feed them!”

Astre who was holding Ciel’s hand was silent but the undeniable curiosity burning in his cerulean eyes have given away his desire about the matter as well. 

“That is if Old Man Sam permits you to, Ciel,” Vincent answers in amusement before turning to the farmer, “Would it be alright for them to do so?”

The old farmer laughs good-naturedly, “Of course, My Lord! Come, I’ll help our young masters in feeding the sheep.”

After feeding the sheep, fawning over them and Sebastian the dog sniffing them curiously, the twins, who are now satisfied, have finally gone to the fields to play with their mother. Rachel had given them a stern warning of not straining Astre too much before letting them off with the black dog trailing behind them.

Sebastian, who was left with the Countess as Tanaka had to assist Vincent on the inspection, was greatly flustered when Rachel suddenly sitting on the field’s grass, “My Lady, would you like for me to get you a chair? I worry about you sitting on the grass—”

Rachel only laughs at Sebastian’s perplexed state and held on to his arm, stopping him from running back to the farm, “It is alright, Sebastian, I do not mind and I don’t want to cause a ruckus just because I want to sit.”

“But, My Lady—”

“ _Hush,_ Sebastian.”

“At least, let me get you a blanket to sit on, My Lady,” the 15 year old insisted, still bothered by the idea of Rachel sitting on the fields. Tanaka would surely lecture him when he learns that Sebastian has let the madam sit on the ground with only her dress, which would most likely end up dirty with grass and dirt.

A sigh of exasperation leaves Rachel’s lips and she finally nods, letting the black-haired young man to rush back and fetch her a luncheon blanket. With Rachel now sitting on the blanket on the ground, the two have settled with watching the two children play from afar for a while. Ciel was busy running around with the black dog Sebastian around while Astre was sitting on the grass, similar to his mother (much to Sebastian’s chagrin), surrounded by beautiful different wildflowers. Occasionally, the older brother would stop by his younger brother to just chat and gush about a pretty rock he found or the flower he picked up.

“Careful!” Rachel calls out when Ciel trips on the grass, prompting his twin to laugh jovially. Ciel grins and stands up again, gesturing to his mother that he was okay before resumes his run, “Goodness, Tanaka will probably fuss over him if he returns with a bleeding knee now,” Rachel remarks while shaking her head.

She turns her blue eyed gaze to the teenage page boy beside her, “Check up on them, Sebastian, will you?”

“But what about you, My Lady?” Sebastian asks, “I cannot possibly leave you by yourself without any company around.”

Rachel, once again, laughs him off, “My, my. Tanaka has trained you quite strictly, I must say,” Her gloved hand just waves away his worries, “I will be alright, Sebastian. Look,” she gestures as a black dog suddenly heads their way, “The other Sebastian will keep me company. He must have sensed Vincent will be arriving soon so do not worry about me having no company.”

As if on cue, Tanaka and Vincent arrive after a minute later, telling them that his inspection has been done successfully. When the adults start chatting, Sebastian finally walks towards the twins, who were now both sitting together to where Astre was, a woven crown of flowers sat atop their heads.

It was a sight that could only be seen in paintings.

It was just breath taking how the two beautiful cherubim children with flower crowns were surrounded by clusters of blossoms and grass, the light of the sunset hitting the horizon bathing them in an almost ethereal glow of orange, yellow and blue.

Sebastian had to pause for a moment to take in the scene and just _breathe_ from astonishment. 

“Oh, Sebastian!” Ciel exclaims, snapping the raven-head from his daze, waving his arm up in greeting, “Is father back?”

“Yes, Master Ciel,” he answers, kneeling down by his side and eyeing the boy’s knee, “If you don’t mind, Master Ciel, can I see your knees for a moment? Lady Rachel was worried you might have scraped them when you tripped earlier.”

The blue-haired child proudly stands instead, showing his unharmed knees, “I’m alright, that was nothing!” he boasts, going as far as puffing his chest and putting his hands on his hips in pride, “I’m a big boy and it takes more than that to hurt me!”

A chuckle leaves Sebastian mouth before the bluenette suddenly exclaims, his attention going to his parents, “Oh, Sebastian, look what I have made!”

On his hands where three flower crowns made of woven white clovers intricately. It was obvious that the hand that had made them were experienced, “Lizzie taught me how to make some yesterday when we were playing!”

“They are quite lovely,” Sebastian remarks, making the child beam, “Shall we give them to your parents? The Master has just returned from the inspection.”

"Yes!" Ciel answers eagerly before momentarily pausing to look at Sebastian, seemingly coming to a realization and his blue eyes became troubled, "Uhm...But I haven’t made you one yet. I was only able to do three." 

Sebastian only bows his head in reassurance, “The fact that you thought of making me one is already enough, Master Ciel.”

A pout and a petulant “It’s not fair for you not to have one!” instead is what he received and honestly, Sebastian does not really care about such trifle things like flower crowns.

“Then perhaps Master Ciel can just teach me how to make one when we get home to the manor?”

The prospect makes the large blue eyes brighten up and a nod of approval was given at the suggestion. With a promise of making flower crowns later, Ciel finally runs off to his parents in glee, leaving Sebastian and his younger brother alone on the field.

“Young Master,” Sebastian calls from his kneeling position, offering his hand on the child on the grass, ‘ _He’s too similar to his mother._ ’

The younger twin accepts his hand and lets him pull him up, lets the butler-in-training fuss over his grass-littered clothes, “Uhm…Sebastian.”

“Yes, My Lord?” He answers without thought, still busy trying to pat away any stray dirt on the child’s clothes.

Something light weight suddenly plops on top of his head, surprising Sebastian and making him stop his ministrations.

His bewildered expression makes Astre giggle before settling on a shy smile, “Uhm…I made you one because you saved be when I collapsed. I-I never got to say thank you to you back then,” he answers, shy smile suddenly disappearing at the frigid wine-coloured eyes. Astre flushes in embarrassment at the raven head’s unresponsiveness, avoiding his gaze and starts to nervously fidget with the button on his blouse, “T-the flowers reminded me of your eyes so I…Uhm, It’s not as good as Ciel’s because it’s my first time but… ”

Sebastian snaps from his stupor at the dejected voice before he hastily envelops both of the boy’s hands unto his own, “No, Young Master, Do not say that,” the pageboy clears his throat to get the child’s attention, “I am honoured to receive Young Master’s first creation.”

Astre looks at him in doubt, still down from receiving an initially luke-warm reaction, and mumbles, “You don’t…have to keep it if you don’t want it.”

Sebastian is suddenly battling the urge to just _hold_ _the child_ into his arms just like that day. It was almost disorienting how uncharacteristic he is becoming. Instead, his hand settles down on the soft slate-hair, ruffling it the way he remembers Astre likes it back then when he was a frequent playmate of the child, “No, Young Master, I…like it.”

“It’s beautiful.”

Astre perks up at having his head ruffled— _‘like a kitten, how adorable’_ —before he beams with a hopeful light in his eyes, “…Really?”

An actual _genuine smile_ blooms on Sebastian’s lips in response as he nods.

The pure unadulterated joy on the five-year old’s face almost took the wind out of Sebastian’s gut. He finds himself wrapped up in tiny arms and a happy whisper on his ear, “Y-you can’t give it back, okay? You have to take care of it.”

Sebastian chuckles in amusement before nodding and wounding his arms loosely on the child, “Of course, Young Master.”

That late afternoon, Sebastian returns to his employers carrying Astre when the child had adamantly refused to let him go, only separating from the raven-head when it was time for him to ride on their respective carriages. Ciel had also insisted that Sebastian carries him to his room when they arrive at the manor because “It wasn’t fair that only Astre got to be carried!”

Thankfully, the Phantomhive couple did not seem to mind Sebastian’s closeness to their children. In fact, they have been relieved and seem to find amusement at Sebastian's attempts of being professional towards the twins.

“The Young Masters may have been treating you like a big brother,” Tanaka tells him later on at their carriage, separate from the Earl’s family. His gaze was fixed on the flower wreath of white clovers on his lap, full of affection and fondness, “They usually do not demand any of the servants to spoil them since they grew up being loved by everyone and having anything they wanted easily. But perhaps they have been wanting an older brother who would both spoil and be stern with them.”

Sebastian, frankly, did not know how to respond to the butler’s assumption, still confused on what to feel about being viewed as a ‘family’.

It’s not that he didn’t like or want to. It’s just a concept he can’t wrap his mind around. Growing up, he never really had that feeling of attachment or bond with anyone even from the orphanage. At a young age, he already understood that he was abandoned. It did not help that he was just too different as well, making him either an oddity no one wants to interact to or a good target for bullying by groups of children trying to ‘prove their worth’. The caretakers did not care either way, choosing to turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to what was happening between children. As long as the children are being fed and they are given their wages is all that matters.

And what was more stupid, he realizes now that he’s older, is how those children who flocked together, would betray each other without a second thought once they have found a way to prove themselves more superior from their past cliques. No one had any use for such things as flimsy as attachments or bonds.

Attachments or bonds were a burden and weakness.

So suddenly being labelled as ‘big brother’ or ‘family’ was an idea he never dared to imagine before or have reflected upon.

“Did the Young Master Ciel make that for you?” Tanaka asks, snapping the 15-year-old from his musings.

The question made wine-coloured eyes land on the flower crown on his own lap, his hand touching the scarlet petal from one of the intertwined blooms carefully, “No. It was Young Master Astre who made it.”

“I see. That explains how yours have different flowers,” the old man chuckles, fondness seeping on his tone, “It’s good to see him smiling today and having fun with his brother and his parents. He has been quite sad and lonely for the past couple of weeks.”

The butler-in-training nods, still caressing the flower wreath made of baby’s breath, morning glory and a cluster of red and blue tubular small flowers he can’t identify.

“Sir Tanaka, do you happen to know what these flowers are?”

Tanaka looks at the flowers Sebastian has pointed, “I do believe they may be Blue and Scarlet Salvias,” he answers, surprised at the unique choice of flowers his Young Lord has chosen for the black-haired teen.

“Salvias?”

“They are more well-known for their other name and its leaves: Sage.”

_‘Astre has given him an herb? Unbelievable,’_ Sebastian chuckles at the thought.

**_[ ‘T-the flowers reminded me of your eyes so I…’ ]_ **

“My eyes, huh?” he mutters quietly, his chest suddenly feeling tight and warm.

_‘This feeling…is not so bad.’_

That night, Sebastian puts the flower crown beside his pillow before he sleeps; mentally reminding himself to look for a book on how to press and preserve flowers once he’s done with lessons for tomorrow and perhaps invest in a box storage when he has the chance.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ajahsdgfjhasdfjh IMAGINE SEBBY RECEIVING A FLOWER WREATH FROM A YOUNG OUR!CIEL. YES I KNOW. CUTE AF AMIRITE  
> Yeah, so again, this aligns with the manga :> I believe it was chapter 130/131?? It's technically a cover of a chapter but based from so many theories, it was a very MEANINGFUL cover photo. Bcs of the flower crowns made of white clovers(which both mean happiness/revenge). It was a really neat idea so that's where I branched off. I didn't want Our!Ciel to give the same flower wreath so I researched about flowers for this fic. And here they are: 
> 
> Blue Salvia- "thinking of you" (it's the same color as the twins ;> )  
> Red Salvia- "forever mine" (which coincidentally is the same color as sebby's eyes /wink wonk/)  
> Morning glory - affection  
> Baby's Breath- blue: an abiding trust, loyalty, sincerity and faith, white: purity, virginity, innocence
> 
> yeah so the mixup of the flowers was an innocent coincidence on Our!Ciel's part but a very thorough research from yours truly(well not really thorough but still). 
> 
> ANYWAY That's all for now. I've got three 4pages essays to do and a whole medical textbook to devour for my exam tomorrow eventho tomorrow's my birthday I--
> 
> (Send help, im losing braincells and drowning in instant coffee)
> 
> Thank you for reading and Stay safe, everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Keep in mind that this is an AU. So Sebastian is both an entirely different person and the same person in a sense that I'll try my best to incorporate some of his canon traits(his cunningness, charm, skills....idk about his sadism but we'll see) and my self-made ones considering he's human this time. 
> 
> As for the sloppy writing and grammatical errors...well, that's entirely my fault and I'm sorry.I do hope you get to read it 'til the end of this chapter at least. T^T That will be enough for a humble fanfic writer like me.
> 
> Thanks for reading and stay safe, everyone!


End file.
